Have you ever stopped to think, no matter where you are on this gun control debate, about why all these bad things happen in this nation? First, I should say that when the media hypes mass shootings, that does not mean they are more frequent than other types of crime. We may hear more about them because that is what the media wants, but these news agencies would have to create two or three different news stations to handle the crime that happens in some of these large cities. We are looking at ONE of the instruments used in those crimes, but we rarely sit back to look at why they happen in the first place.
There are many reasons for this and it will depend on the situation, but one of the biggest reasons our society thinks to kill before talking it out with someone is because we have come to a point where people really believe there is no one out there for them. These people you see go into a school and want to harm someone, many times, are the ones that are being bullied or made fun of during the school day. They go to their teachers and the school administration and try to tell them, but that almost never works. They may or may not tell their parents, but the parents know there is something wrong on some level. Many parents believe they need to allow their children to work out their problems on their own, but in fact they need that person to talk to and let out the anger before it builds up too high.
There are many things we can do right inside our schools to make it a better place for kids to get an education and not be subjected to all out verbal and physical abuse. As I have said many times, I was one of those kids who was bullied and it was not the best time of my life. The teachers would do nothing about it, the Administration at the school did nothing, and when it came time to hand out punishment I was the one that got the worst of it. I never thought about going into a school with a gun (I was in high school at the time of Columbine) and I had a few friends that made the time a little better. If a child does not have this, however, he or she will be more prone to violence in that school.
Why are we not talking about making a three strikes and your out rule for those who verbally or physically abuse someone in schools? This seems like it would be something that would be fairly easy to do, and the schools would have no choice to get on board with it. The teachers and administrators also need training in dealing with people who are bullied, verbally or otherwise, and getting back to teach these kids about the value of a human life could go a long way. Now, this would probably not have stopped the shootings in Colorado or even Sandy Hook, but there are many other school shootings where it may have had an impact on the situation. We just do not know because we do not hold those who run the schools accountable for what goes on in the school.
We all like to play video games, right? Well, maybe not all of you but many of you do like to play and many started at a very early age. When I was young, we played Mario, Sonic, and games like that which were not really violent unless you count stomping on a mushroom violent. As I got older we played Mortal Combat and other more violent games, but my father never allowed it in the home so I played at other people's houses. This was before the rating system, but even after the rating system parents bought their kids these games so there was no way to stop it.
My idea is to not ban video games outright, or even games with violence. That will not help the situation and people will still get them anyway. If there is a market for something, someone will make it and in an age where we have amateurs making games online, this is a much easier task than ever before. But what we could do is at least try to get parents in the country to understand there is an age where your child is old enough to play these games, and only you know if they are mature enough to play them and not take them seriously. All children are different so no rating system will be good enough, but the parents know the child the best so they need to make better informed decisions about what their children see and play inside the home.
This is not an easy step because the child could play it somewhere else. This is why it is VERY important to have the discussion with your children that these games are not real, but fantasy to pass the time with. It is not appropriate to stab, shoot, kill, or otherwise harm other people. It is not right to steal a car, rape a woman, buy a prostitute, or any other unethical behavior we see in these games. I know I cannot be the exception to the rule, there must be caring parents out there that have children that will have these conversations! It does not matter if you do not want to, you MUST have these conversations because children are very impressionable. They see movies and try to act like the lead character, and someone in their life needs to tell them that pretending is fine and it is fun, but it is not reality. If you can get your child to understand reality and how it differs from fiction, then your child will be on the road to a better life and able to make better decisions.
I have written about the schools and the games/movies, but what about personal responsibility? This is not something we hear very much anymore, especially when these shootings happen. No one wants to take the blame for it, when there is enough blame to go around. When we flip on the TV and watch a show that promotes sleeping with multiple women or men and having babies at a young age and not being able to care for them, WE ARE a part of the problem. When we have guns in the home and REFUSE to show our children how to use them, how to hold them, and what NOT to do with them, we are a part of the problem. Now you are not going to show your 2 month old how to hold a gun. That gun should be locked away until the child is old enough to understand what it is. But when that time comes do not be afraid that something might happen, show the child that it is a weapon that can kill many, and to be trusted with it you must learn how to be safe with it. Many parents who own weapons do this, but many more do not.
It is hard to teach your child right from wrong when you do wrong yourself. Children pick up on what their parents do and how they act, and many children grow to be just like one of their parents. I grew up going to church every Sunday, and while I do not push religion on anyone it may be an option for that child who needs to learn a little more about right and wrong. That would be up to the parent or even the child at a certain age, of course, but still an option that can be taken under advisement. There are so many things parents can do to make sure their child grows up right, but in a society where the parents are on again/off again, divorcing and marrying three other men after the first, and leaving their kids to their own devices because they have other responsibilities because of the choices they made does not mean the child does not need love and attention. If you have a child with a mental disability, this is even more true than other children!
So, when we look at the gun debate and we keep on arguing back and forth about WHY this kind of thing happens, remember it is not the gun that gets up to shoot someone, there is a person that does that. That person has a story, a life, a mother and a father, and maybe some problems that could have been fixed by seeing a doctor, spending more time with parents, or having a parent that showed interest in the child. We cannot say that would stop most mass shootings in schools or anywhere else, but the fact that we are not even talking about it shows to me that this debate was designed to be one sided from the beginning and there is nothing short of a total change in the way we treat each other and ourselves that will start to change the violence we see in America today.
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